The regular season has come to an end with flurry, as we had 12 match ups this week. As a result, I’m going to do something a little different and not cover them all but recap the week as a whole. It was an odd week as up until the Monday night game, many of the bigger stars in the league were held in check. There were a couple teams fortunate to come away with victories, especially the Bananas who currently sit in the top seed heading into the playoffs, but will have to sweat scoring revisions in both of their match ups until Thursday morning.
Good luck to all those that made the playoffs!
Results
8-6 Fear Boners (196.83)
The Boners had a solid week, earning the final playoff position with a pair of victories and a top 4 score. They may have the easier match up in the first round, but it’s going to be tough to navigate 3 wins needed for a title with no David Johnson return.
4-10 Chalupa Batman (135.46)
On to the Frittata Bowl. Laker ends his playoff streak in style being one of the worst teams in the league, and the chief competition for the Dancers for the plate covers. There are now no teams that have made the playoffs every year, but there still is one that hasn’t made it at all.
9-5 Tom Selleck’s Moustache (163.85)
The Stache pissed away a golden opportunity for a first round bye with a pair of losses this week. He now has a tough 1st round game against the hottest team in the league as a result. Smitty has his work cut out for him if he wants to be the first repeat Igloo Bowl Champion.
11-3 Greg Schiano is an Idiot (219.96)
The Idiots did all they could, being the top scoring team and picking up max points, but they had too big of a hole to climb out of after lacklustre scoring early in the year, and now end up in the 4th seed, with a tough 3rd match up against the Stache.
6-8 What Does John Fox Say (199.03)
Scotty only needed 1 point, but ended up rolling to a full 6 to head into the playoffs hot. Unfortunately, it doesn’t really matter, as he’s likely still an underdog as the only playoff team with a losing record. He also managed to get his first win outside of the division this week, knocking off Mo, which has to feel sweet after all the shit talk Mo has heaped on that division in his guest appearances in this spot.
6-8 Rex in the City (182.50)
The Rexes were a big story of too little, too late this season. They rode Alvin Kamara out of the league basement, but unfortunately by then, there wasn’t enough time to catch up with WDJFS for another division title.
3-11 Endzone Dancers (127.67)
The Dancers continued to be awful, and now head to the Frittata Bowl as the prohibitive favourite to take it down (or get taken down – not sure which is more appropriate). Hopefully, for them, the high pick can turn them around sooner rather than later (although the rest of the division that owns their picks all have high picks too).
4-10 Knuckle Ballers (164.83)
More craptastic action from the Taco Corp. This division could only muster 19 total wins when they were guaranteed 12 within the division. The Ballers head to the Frittata Bowl as the highest scoring team, so they should be relatively safe from a season of pink license plate covers. Oh, Hi Mark.
11-3 San Juan Bananas (165.51)
Who would have thought being the 8th highest scoring team in the league this week would have ended up earning the Bananas the top spot and 1st round bye (pending scoring revisions – so Bobber has to sweat until Thursday). The Bye will be much needed as the Bananas would be without Gronk for a prospective first round match up.
7-7 Long Snappers (177.04)
The Snappers are the Jeff Fisher of the EBFL, continually finishing in the 5th to 8th range, hovering around the .500 mark. They went 1-1 in a week (amusingly enough, against the top scoring and bottom scoring teams this week) they needed a pair of wins and head to the consolation bracket to try and acquire an extra pick. It’s back to the drawing board this off-season trying to break through to contender status.
10-4 Loose Bandits (186.65)
The Bandits had a decent week going 1-1 and defaulting into the 1st round bye thanks to an awful Taco Corp division. They did however lose to a Taco Corp team in the process. This team will go as far as Bell, Brown and Jones take them. If the Pats somehow figure out a way to contain the Steeler stars, it could be another lost season for the Bandits.
5-9 Deadly Nagintas (166.82)
The Nagintas were in tough and needed to win both to have a shot at the playoffs. Losing Telvin Smith and picking the wrong QB again were costly as they ended up facing a pair of top 4 scoring teams. The Nagintas have the most depth left on the bottom half, and should have a decent shot at acquiring the 2.13 for the 2nd straight season.
Week 13 Awards
Offensive Player of the Week
Tyreek Hill (What Does John Fox Say) – Hill went off as the Chiefs decided to throw the ball more than 5 yards downfield for a change. Hill and Kelce were big beneficiaries.
Defensive Player of the Week
Anthony Hitchens (Chalupa Batman) – This one was locked up Thursday night. Unfortunately for the Chalupas, their season was locked up 2 months ago.
Rookie of the Week
Alvin Kamara (Rex in the City) – Kamara continues to roll, and his second half almost assures him of being ROTY. He’ll probably keep Commish from being the 2nd Bryce to own the Loser plate covers.
Goat of the Week
Paul Richardson/Zach Ertz (Tom Selleck’s Moustache) – Bobber ends up finishing atop the standings as these 2 combined for about 5 points on Sunday night. Ertz gets a bit of a pass thanks to the head injury, but still…costly.
Bench Player of the Week
Alex Smith (Greg Schiano is an Idiot) – It could have been a better week for the Idiots had they rolled with Smith at QB. Andy Reid should have given up play-calling duties 3 weeks ago, and the Chefs might still be playoff bound.
Bonehead Coaching Move of the Week
Ben McAdoo – This guy is clearly dumber than any of the managers in this league. Geno Smith is not going to win you football games without an offensive line, an NFL calibre RB or any WR. Just roll the franchise out there.
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