It’s been a strange spring around these parts, with very little action. Far from the norm in the EBFL. Some of it can probably be blamed on Scotty already dealing his entire 2019 draft and being on vacation. We could blame it on one team owning two-thirds of the first round of the draft (well, only half now). We could blame it on others not even logging into the 2017 site, but really they aren’t overly active in the trade market to begin with. It’s even been pretty quiet on the message board lately.
With EBFL Free Agency set to begin this week, and the rookie draft about 7 weeks away, now is as good a time as any to take stock of where teams are at, before things start heating up a little.
Yobagoya Division
Greg Schiano is an Idiot
2016 Finish: 9th in VP, 8th in Scoring
2017 Draft Picks: 2.07, 3.01, 3.02, 4.04, 4.07, 5.01, 5.06
2017 Outlook: The first three seasons have been a serious yo-yo for the Idiots, as they went from Frittata Bowl to being the number one seed then back to the Frittata Bowl. If the pattern holds, they should be destined for a solid 2017. They have a decent roster, with a good young QB, a pair of good young RB, several solid WR and a decent defense. If they can stay healthy and some of their young WR take the next step they could be a legit contender. Getting Keenan Allen and JJ Watt back from injury should be a huge boost, and if they can hit on one or two of those mid round picks, it could be back to the playoffs for this squad.
Long Term Outlook: The Idiots are a team that isn’t afraid to mix it up, and this makes it tough to pin a long-term outlook on them. If they can get some development out of their 2016 WR, and decent contributions from their injured big guns, they could be a team on the rise again, as they’re young everywhere but TE on offense and solid defense is relatively easy to come by. The Idiots should be a contender in what should be a competitive division for the foreseeable future.
Long Snappers
2016 Finish: 7th in VP, 11th in Scoring
2017 Draft Picks: 1.07, 4.11
2017 Outlook: The Snappers are a team in flux, and look to be headed back to the consolation round. They do have some decent talent, but the depth isn’t there to score well week in and week out and hang with the top teams in the league. They still have some question marks at the RB position, and TE is pretty much a shit-show behind Brate, who likely never puts up that many points again. The defense is in pretty much the same shape, with some serious talent, and a bunch of question marks. They’ll need some of their young guys to step it up if they want to make a playoff push. It’s a loaded draft so that 1.07 could make an immediate impact, which would help, but probably isn’t enough for 2017.
Long Term Outlook: The Snappers are still building their team up and could make some noise this year, but it’s more likely going to take a couple years to make them an actual contender. Will the rest of the rest of the division allow that? I think there will be a lot of solid battles in the Yobagoya, and it will come down to which team can keep their players on the field, and make the right moves at the right time. Ultimately, this team should be in the mix post-2017.
San Juan Bananas
2016 Finish: 6th in VP, 6th in Scoring
2017 Draft Picks: 2.05, 4.02, 5.03
2017 Outlook: The Bananas are still loaded with aging players that aren’t sexy names that hold a bunch of trade value, but they produce. That should make this squad a playoff competitor but I’m not sure they’re a title contender. A full season out of Gronk will be the key to their season, and if he can get back to the positional advantage he can be, it will make up for the lack of a ceiling at some other positions. It’s a far cry from where they were at TE heading into 2016. They should score well week in and week out, which should keep them in the mix for a divisional crown. The Nanners may have the best LB in the league and are solid at DB. They could really use someone to step up on the defensive line.
Long Term Outlook: The Bananas are in the same boat as the Rexes and are very win now at this point. There isn’t a ton of trade value on offense, so if and when they do decide to blow it up and rebuild, it could be a long painful process. They should be a year or two away from that, though. I have a feeling Bobber may keep trying to band-aid over his roster deficiencies to prolong their competitive window.
Tom Selleck’s Moustache
2016 Finish: 2nd in VP, 2nd in Scoring (Igloo Bowl Champion)
2017 Draft Picks: 2.12, 5.07, 5.12
2017 Outlook: The perennial underachiever finally had things go right for them in 2016, and it culminated in a championship. They’re well positioned to be back on top in 2017, as they have the best stable of RB in the league, a pair of top 5 dynasty QB, good enough WR and a decent defense. This offense will be tough to top this season, so the other contenders may have to do it with defense. They have to be the favourite to win the division and with that a shoe-in for a first round Bye. The only thing that could really derail the Stache is an OBJ injury/suspension.
Long Term Outlook: Smitty has this squad positioned to be competitive for a long time. Their strength is at the most fungible position in the game, though, so that could turn around in a hurry. Really though, this team was due for their breakout, as they greatly underachieved the first two seasons. Right now, they’re looking like the team to beat in the short and long term in the division.
Senor Crabs Division
Chalupa Batman
2016 Finish: 1st in VP, 3rd in Scoring (Igloo Bowl Finalist)
2017 Draft Picks: 1.12, 2.11, 3.05, 3.06, 3.07, 3.09, 4.10, 4.12, 5.10, 5.11
2017 Outlook: Despite the grim outlook for 2016 the Chalupas ended up being the top team in the regular season, and their 2nd straight loss in the championship game. After dumping so much high-end talent on offense, they did it with defense, and are poised to do so again. It won’t be easy, though, as the rest of the squads in the division should be better in 2017 than they were in 2016. The toughest division in the EBFL isn’t getting any easier, and there’s a good possibility they put 3 squads in the playoffs for the 3rd straight season. The Chalupas could be in the mix for their 3rd division title, but we think they will end up getting in as one of the lower seeds this go round. The best DB corps in the league should help.
Long Term Outlook: Laker turned this team around in the fastest rebuild ever, but the push for a 2016 title likely did some damage to their future success. The rest of the division are poised to leapfrog the Chalupas, which may well leave them on the outside of the playoff picture either in 2017 or beyond. They’ll need to focus on the offense in a hurry, as beyond AJ Green, there isn’t another stud in the mix.
Deadly Nagintas
2016 Finish: 8th in VP, 7th in Scoring
2017 Draft Picks: 1.01, 1.02, 1.05, 1.06, 1.08, 1.09, 2.04, 2.13, 3.03, 3.10, 4.01, 4.05, 5.05, 5.09
2017 Outlook: The Nagintas missed the playoffs following their championship season while trying to acquire most of the 2017 1st round draft picks. They came close to their goal, locking down 8, but have since moved a pair for more immediate help at WR, and the entire 2019 draft class of WDJFS. The Nagintas are full of question marks for 2017, which could see them competing for a title, or in the Frittata mix. Their season greatly depends on the contributions of those first 4 picks in the draft. They still have several high-end WR, and the possibility of a Josh Gordon sighting is still in the air. Tony Romo going to a contender would help their chances immensely, although Carson Wentz got some shiny new toys and could take a serious leap in year 2. In reality, this squad is likely another season away with the talent in the rest of the division.
Long Term Outlook: The Nagintas have positioned themselves for a significant long-term run as a championship contender after a 1 or 2 year hiatus. If this draft holds up to its reputation, having 6 of the first 9 picks will put the Nagintas back on top of the division and could get their name on the trophy for the 2nd time. The Senor Crabs division is going to be a slugfest for the forseeable future.
Fear Boners
2016 Finish: 4th in VP, 5th in Scoring
2017 Draft Picks: 2.01, 2.08, 3.04, 3.08, 4.08, 5.02, 5.08
2017 Outlook: The Boners young players took a step forward in 2016, and they now have some much-needed depth, which should make them a tough match-up in 2017. They may not have the studs other teams have outside of DJ, but they easily have the most 2nd tier talent in the league. Their defense is much improved, and their line is probably the best in the EBFL. I didn’t realize how balanced this squad was until I was going through the rosters for this report. Do they have enough to outlast the other 3 teams in the division? They could take down their first division title, or they could narrowly miss the playoffs. The division could be that tight this season.
Long Term Outlook: The Boners have drafted well the past couple seasons (outside of the Treadwell pick, which wasn’t a stretch by any means, and there is still time for him). They have killed it with their 2nd round running backs. They have a couple more shots at it again this year, and if they somehow end up with another RB1, the rest of the division could be looking up at them for a few seasons.
Loose Bandits
2016 Finish: 3rd in VP, 1st in Scoring
2017 Draft Picks: 4.03, 4.06, 4.09, 5.04
2017 Outlook: The Bandits went into 2016 as the favourite and came up short, which may not bode well for their 2017 with a much-improved division. They actually have a QB this season, but they’re currently struggling to fill their RB2 and flex positions. They have enough high-end talent to make up for inconsistencies there, but they’ll need to do it at the right times. No one can match their top 3 WR, and they have one of the best QB and RB in the game. Their defense stepping up will make them contenders, while the status quo likely doesn’t get it done. The Bandits don’t pick until the 40th slot, so they may have to focus on D if they want any immediate impact.
Long Term Outlook: In retrospect, it was a great move by Mo to move his 2016 picks for elite talent, and he probably has a decent 3-year window to make a title run before Drew Brees retires and Antonio Brown and Julio Jones end up on the wrong side of 30. The Bandits should be set up pretty nicely until then, and some shrewd dealing could get them a championship.
Taco Corp Division
Endzone Dancers
2016 Finish: 10th in VP, 10th in Scoring
2017 Draft Picks: 1.04
2017 Outlook: The Dancers have a lot of solid pieces, but they don’t have much in the way of difference makers. Hopefully, they can change that with the 4th pick in the draft. It may not matter much because this division still blows, and the 6th or 7th most VP may get a team the 3rd seed in the playoffs. Why not the Dancers? It’s really a crapshoot at this point, as they have lots of players that could be greatly affected by which teams acquire some of the offensive talent in the NFL draft. It could relegate several of the Dancer players to lower positions on the depth chart costing them snaps and more importantly, points. The Dancers aren’t one of the top 6 teams in the league at this point, but they may not need to be to get into the playoffs.
Long Term Outlook: The Rexes are going to fall off, Scotty is going to continue to trade his team into the shitter, so the division is ripe for the taking over the next few seasons. Are the Dancers content to be a division contender or do they want to hang with the big boys in the league? Right now they could be a division winner, but whoever is the 6 seed would likely view them as easy pickings in the first round. They’d probably be smart to seriously blow it up, take another year of lumps and try to build a legit squad.
Knuckle Ballers
2016 Finish: 11th in VP, 9th in Scoring
2017 Draft Picks: 1.03, 2.03
2017 Outlook: The Ballers streak of playoff appearances ended in 2016, but it may just be a short hiatus, as they’re in a decent position in this division for 2017. They have a good enough offense and a pretty solid defense. If they can catch a break with RB opportunity and add a decent option at TE, they will be the team to beat in the Taco Corp. Really though, they aren’t doing shit outside the division, as almost every team in the other 2 are more talented. They do have a couple picks that could pay immediate dividends, but I’m not sure it will be enough to make them a serious contender. As it stands today, they could win the division, but that’s likely their ceiling.
Long Term Outlook: The Ballers have moved on from Johnny Manziel, and it’s probably time to move on from Brock Osweiler. Thankfully they finally hit on a young QB with Prescott, as Brady is likely done before long. Just like the Dancers, the Ballers may be better served by taking some short term pain for long term gain, if they want to play for a title at any point in the near future. The Ballers are probably in the best position in the Taco Corp currently.
Rex in the City
2016 Finish: 5th in VP, 4th in Scoring
2017 Draft Picks: 1.10, 2.02, 2.06, 2.09, 2.10, 3.11, 3.12
2017 Outlook: The Rexes made their way back to the playoffs in 2016, after a rough 2015. They are still getting older and one year closer to irrelevancy. At least they have some decent picks to infuse some youth into an aging roster. Having 5 of the first 22 picks will go a long way to reducing the rebuild period if they can hit on one or two. The third tier of this draft is huge, and the Rexes could land some solid young talent in that tier. If a couple of his picks can make an immediate impact, or he can package some up for some young talent, he’s likely right back on top as his lack of depth gets rectified quickly. The Dancers and Ballers both have a high pick, but the Rexes have more lottery tickets. Their draft likely decides the division. Either that or a team or two deciding to blow it up early.
Long Term Outlook: The outlook at RB looks pretty bleak, and after a 30+ Jordy, there isn’t much to be excited about at WR. Hunter Henry looks like the real deal at TE though. The Rexes will need to crush their 2nd round picks this year if they don’t want to be on the outside looking in for a prolonged period.
What Does John Fox Say
2016 Finish: 12th in VP, 12th in Scoring (Frittata Award Winner)
2017 Draft Picks: 1.11
2017 Outlook: It’s not pretty. It’s not really that bad, though. The team has a pretty decent floor, but the ceiling isn’t really there, as every time Scotty ends up with a stud he seems to flip em for a bunch of players racing to be past their prime. Scotty’s team is starting to remind me of the Bananas. Not much in the way of sexy names or trade value, but they can do just enough to get in the playoffs and be cannon fodder for the real contenders. That said, it’s probably this year or nothing for this roster. Mind you, this roster likely changes a fair bit before the first week of the season, so your guess is as good as mine.
Long Term Outlook: It’s still not pretty. There are a couple decent young pieces, but I’m not sure they’re the type that will have sustained success in the league. Scotty keeps mortgaging his future to try and accomplish something in the present, and eventually, he’ll have to pay the piper. Oh wait, he just did that in 2016. I foresee more of that post-2017.
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