We’ve reached the end of the regular season, which featured our first ever double header and unfortunately, there wasn’t a ton of drama at the top of the standings, as most everything was clinched except who would play who in Week 14 pretty much. There was some movement in the bottom half as the Idiots, who technically could have worked there way into the playoffs with a great week (and in retrospect, had they put up 186 points they’d be in) put up 0 VP and dropped all the way into the Frittata Bowl, bailing out both the Snappers and Nagintas in the process.
It’s interesting to see the teams in the playoffs, 3 of which are the ones certain teams like to bitch about being inactive half the time, and the ‘rebuilding’ Chalupas, the franchise that’s run by twitter polls. We have 2 first time participants in the 2nd seeded Stache and 5th seeded Boners, who incidentally have been the 2 highest scoring teams down the stretch. Can they carry that into the playoffs, and have one of them as our 3rd different Igloo Bowl champ in 3 years? Stay tuned for a Commish Report to find out!
Rundown
12-2 Chalupa Batman (158.81) – W vs Idiots, L vs Bandits
The Chalupas cap off a dominant regular season, by limping into the playoffs with a split, knocking off the Idiots, and losing to the playoff bound Bandits. While the Chalupas have continued to win, they have tailed off a bit down the stretch, and I’m not sure anyone really fears them in the playoffs. They’re definitely nowhere near the Idiots juggernaut of 2015, which may be a good thing, considering that Titanic collapse. The key contributors for the Chalupas this week were a couple WR2’s and the Grahams. They now get to sit around and enjoy some football in Week 14, as they wait to see who makes it through to face them in Week 15.
10-4 Tom Selleck’s Moustache (245.26) – W vs Bananas, W vs Ballers
The Stache are the hottest team in the EBFL, and could very well be peaking at the right time. After a couple hard luck seasons, things have really come together this year, and Smitty’s squad is probably the team to beat at this point. Every player on the offense hit double digits, with 3 RB going for over 20 each. If they can keep that up, it doesn’t matter that their defense may not be as strong as some other playoff clubs. As the #2 seed, they also get a break in Week 14, which they have to hope doesn’t slow their momentum.
7-7 Rex in the City (150.92) – L vs Dancers, L vs Snappers
The Rexes limp into the playoffs with a pair of losses, and a bottom 4 score. There’s a reason San Juan was happy about pulling down the 6 seed and avoiding one of the Senor Crabs squads. The Rexes won’t be able to afford some of the awful games they’ve been getting lately (3 players under 1 point…total) if they want to hoist the trophy as the first 2-time winner. They will need 3 solid weeks of ‘boom’ from this boom or bust squad. They start off the tournament against the Bananas who they defeated in Week 6 and it will be interesting to see who comes out on top, as I think 2nd round seeding could be a big factor with the 4/5 match up feature the 2 best teams outside of the Bye squads.
10-4 Loose Bandits(186.09) – W vs Chalupas, W vs WDJFS
The Bandits grab a pair of victories in what was essentially a meaningless week for them (although losing to Scott may have forced Mo to quit the league), as they were pretty much set as the 4 seed. Knocking off the #1 seed division rival has to feel good as they head into the playoffs, though. They’ll likely need to be better if they want to be the 2nd Senor Crabs team to hoist the trophy (Ok, maybe just stand beside it for a picture, since they’re pretty much the same height). Most of the squad was decent this week, but they’ll need more from both their QB and the flex (especially now with Crowder hobbling). The Bandits face off against the Boners, in hopes of improving on their 6th place finish of a year ago. Although in true millennial fashion, I’m sure he’d still want another ribbon tacked on to his team banner.
9-5 Fear Boners (226.23) – W vs Nagintas, W vs Dancers
The Boners cruise into the playoffs with a pair of wins against non-playoff squads, while putting up their 3rd straight top-2 score. The computers hated this team all year, but they have bucked the odds and earned their first playoff berth. If they keep producing as they have of late, they won’t be an easy out either, and I don’t think either the Stache or Chalupas will want to face the winner of the Bandits/Boners game. David Johnson continues to dominate for the Boners and barring catastrophic injury has already locked up the OPOTY award. The Boners have split with the Bandits this year, although the Bandits did go over 200 in both, so the Boners will have to continue their hot streak to take them down.
7-7 San Juan Bananas (162.43) – L vs Stache, L vs Nagintas
It’s a good thing for the Bananas that the Idiots were awful this week because the unthinkable could have happened with the 6 point week available with this performance. The Bananas will need to be much better than they were this week, but I’m not sure they have the horses to compete with the big 4 remaining. Fortunately, they won’t get into the real contenders until Week 15, although the Rexes do get Murray back, so they’re no pushover.
7-7 Long Snappers (168.43) – W vs Idiots, W vs Rexes
A pair of wins was too little, too late as far as the playoffs go, but it was enough to ensure the Snappers avoided the Frittata Bowl for the 2nd time in 3 seasons. Knocking off a division rival to put them in the Frittata Bowl, as well as a win over the big bro makes it a great week either way. There weren’t any huge games for the Snappers, but pretty much everyone pulled their weight. They go into the consolation round as the #1 seed and will face off against the Dancers in Week 14.
5-9 Deadly Nagintas (185.98) – L vs Boners, W vs Bananas
The story of the Nagintas season can be summed up in their division record. They took 6 losses against the teams in their division, and we’re a respectable 5-3 against the rest of the league. Due to some solid scoring, despite their crappy record, they were able to narrowly avoid their first trip to the Frittata Bowl. It was all about the defense this week, as 8 of 9 starters scored at least 11.5 points while only 2 offensive players hit double digits. The Nagintas now try to add to their stable of 2017 draft picks in the consolation bracket.
5-9 Greg Schiano is an Idiot (156.07) – L vs Snappers, L vs Chalupas
What an unfortunate turn of events for the Idiots. They had a shot to make the playoffs, but went completely in the opposite direction, dropping like a rock, and ending up as the final team in the Frittata Bowl. They did lose to some decent teams, but these both turned out to be very winnable games and with the Bananas going 0-for the week, they could have made the dance has they scored another 30 points for a league average type total. The Idiots now catch the Nagintas in the first round of the consolation bracket, as well as matching up against the final 3 teams listed to see who is the 2016 Frittata.
7-7 Endzone Dancers (179.25) – W vs Rexes, L vs Boners
The Dancers split the week to end up with a .500 season, which isn’t good enough when you factor in how low scoring they have been all season, and are back in the Frittata Bowl after a one-year hiatus. With the Boners and Stache making their first playoff appearance this season, the Dancers are now the only squad to not make it, in the short history of the league. This actually wasn’t a bad week for the Dancers as outside of the QB position they scored pretty well across the board. If they get more of the same the rest of the way, they could very well take down the consolation bracket.
3-11 Knuckle Ballers (159.11) – L vs WDJFS, L vs Stache
When you talk as much shit about a team as the Ballers have about WDJFS, you should probably make sure your team isn’t worse. The Ballers did have some solid performances this week, notably Murray, Tate, and Williams, but after that, it wasn’t pretty with a decent number of sub-5 scores. They get a consolation round Bye for being one of the 2 worst teams and wait to see which team gets to effectively end their season the following week, while potentially sizing up the team bus for some new license plate covers.
2-12 What Does John Fox Say (168.74) – W vs Ballers, L vs Bandits
I was going to congratulate someone for joining the Ballers as the only team to lose to WDJFS this year, but it was just him again, so there was no point. Well done Rob, you’re the only team to lose to the worst team in EBFL history…and you did it twice. I’m sure someone will put at least of these teams out of their misery in the consolation round so there won’t be a 3rd shot. Thomas Rawls’ big Sunday night, and Robby Anderson finally hauling in a pass Monday night ended up sealing the deal on their 2nd win of the season. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough for Scotty to triple his win total in one week. WDJFS heads into the postseason as the favourite to be the 2016 Frittata Bowl ‘champ’, and should be bounced ASAP in the consolation tournament.
Week 13 Awards
Offensive Player of the Week
David Johnson (Fear Boners) – Johnson put up 9 catches, 175 all purpose yards and 2 scores.
Defensive Player of the Week
Vontaze Burfict (Fear Boners) – The Boners have dominated this award lately, as this is Burfict’s 2nd in 3 weeks, with Mack in between.
Rookie of the Week
Jordan Howard (Fear Boners) – The Boners had over 90 points between their 3 award winners this week. Howard tore it up against the 9ers for 117 and 3 scores.
Goat of the Week
Kelvin Benjamin (Greg Schiano is an Idiot) – This guy was supposed to be a WR2 at worst, but less than 3 points earned the Idiots a spot in the less than prestigious Frittata Bowl.
Pickup of the Week
Nick Kwiatkoski (Deadly Nagintas) – Kwiatkowski put up 9 tackles, 2 for a loss and 2 passes defended for over 18 points.
Bench Player of the Week
Dwayne Allen (Greg Schiano is an Idiot) – Monday night was the Dwayne Allen show as he popped off for 3 TDs before the half.
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