We’re now 12 weeks into the season, and pretty much everything has been settled. All 3 divisions have been settled, and only 1 playoff spot is left to be mathematically determined (although the Bananas are as close to locked in as you can get). It looks as if the Senor Crabs is the class of the league again this year, with 3 playoff teams, and the top team overall for the 2nd time in 3 seasons. On the other hand, you have the Taco Corp, who will very likely have 3 teams duking it out in the Fritatta Bowl. There isn’t a pile of drama left on tap in Week 13, despite it being a 6 point week. The Bananas magic VP number is 1, so them getting 1, or the Idiots losing 1, gets them into the dance. WDJFS and the Ballers are locked into the Fritatta Bowl, with the Dancers, Nagintas, Snappers and Idiots trying not to join them.
Matchups
7-5 San Juan Bananas (212.14) – 5-7 Greg Schiano is an Idiot (188.67)
The Bananas likely punched their ticket to the playoffs with this win over the Idiots. Manny Sanders had only his 2nd 100 yard game of the season, which helped make up for the Gronk donut and lead the team to victory. The Idiots were pretty decent across the board, but starting Chris Thompson and Cam Meredith isn’t usually a recipe for being a playoff contender. These teams are the only 2 remaining with a shot at the final playoff spot, but with the Bananas holding the 5 point lead and the tie-break, it’s nearly impossible for the Idiots to pass them. The Idiots should be safe from the Fritatta Bowl as 2 of the Snappers, Nagintas and Dancers would have to pass them.
7-5 Fear Boners (229.26) – 8-4 Loose Bandits (215.18)
The Boners effectively ended any shot the Bandits had at winning their first division crown, and in turn earned their first ever playoff berth. The Boners continue to get MVP like play from David Johnson, as he has to be considered an OPOTY favourite at this point. Michael Thomas had his best game of the year, and Khalil Mack and Vontaze Burfict chipped in with big defensive games. The Bandits got some big games, but their defense just wasn’t good enough to make up for a handful of stars that didn’t play like stars (or were injured in-game). This one was possibly a preview of a playoff battle between these division rivals with a semi-final berth on the line as they likely end up the 4 and 5 seeds.
11-1 Chalupa Batman (219.82) – 4-8 Deadly Nagintas (188.61)
The Chalupas keep rolling on and officially picked up their 2nd division crown in a row as well as the #1 seed throughout the playoffs. The entire team chipped in to get the win, as there weren’t any huge scores, but there weren’t many disappointing scores either. The Nagintas were decent this week, but are a little light on overall talent after shipping several pieces to contenders, and couldn’t keep pace with the Chalupas. Mike Evans was the lone bright spot, as he tries to work his way into the overall WR1 spot. The Chalupas now have 2 meaningless weeks ahead as they look towards possibly another division match-up in Week 15, while the Nagintas try to work their way out of a Frittata Bowl position on the final week of the regular season.
8-4 Tom Selleck’s Moustache (240.73) – 5-7 Long Snappers (181.99)
The Stache came to play this week and take home the top score prize in their rout of the Snappers. The offense was pretty much stellar all around, and despite being the weak spot in the lineup, the LB still put up average numbers, and the Stache look primed at the right time. They do still have some work to do to earn the #2 seed and a playoff Bye, but they’re in a good position and their magic number is 3 (or 2 if they can outscore the Rexes by 2.3 points). The Snappers are now in a dead heat for one of the 2 available Frittata Bowl spots (currently they have the tie-break over the Nagintas), so they may need to pick up some points in Week 13 to avoid putting themselves in a position to be the first 2-time Frittata.
6-6 Endzone Dancers (191.33) – 1-11 What Does John Fox Say (109.86)
The Dancers knocked off WDJFS, giving them at least a shot at getting out of the Frittata Bowl. Colin Kaepernick, an early season afterthought, ended up being the star of this show, narrowly edging out Tyreek Hill (the lone bright spot in a dismal WDJFS performance). WDJFS only had one other player reach double digits, as Matt Stafford reached the milestone in his 5th straight disappointing performance. While WDJFS is locked in, and likely the favourite for, the Frittata Bowl, the Dancers can likely get out as long as they pick up a point on both the Snappers and Nagintas (as they likely hold the tiebreak in that scenario with a better record).
7-5 Rex in the City (184.35) – 3-9 Knuckle Ballers (153.19)
The Rexes continue their division dominance (they are one of only two teams with 4-1 division records heading into the final week) as they rolled over the Ballers by 30ish points. The Rexes did it mainly on defense and Von Miller was the catalyst with almost 30 points. The Ballers couldn’t even play spoiler right, taking a pair of donuts with another 5 players under 5 points. Just an ugly performance all around, but they would have at least beat WDJFS, so there’s that. The Rexes can still capture the #2 seed, but they’re going to have to win both of their matchups and need to score well, and hope the Stache throws up a serious dud. The Ballers have locked themselves into the Frittata Bowl and are likely Scotty’s main competition for the award.
Week 12 Awards
Offensive Player of the Week
Colin Kaepernick (Endzone Dancers) – Kaep honoured the memory of his good buddy Castro with a wonderful garbage time game.
Defensive Player of the Week
Khalil Mack (Fear Boners) – Mack was a monster, filling the stat sheet with picks, TD’s, fumble recoveries, sacks and a bunch of tackles.
Rookie of the Week
Tyreek Hill (What Does John Fox Say) – Hill beasted again this week, and may be earning his way into an honorable mention in ROTY award voting.
Goat of the Week
Julio Jones (Loose Bandits) – To win, you generally need your stars to be stars. Julio was no such thing this week with only 5.5 points in the Bandits loss.
Pickup of the Week
Kurt Coleman (Greg Schiano is an Idiot) – Almost 15 points out of a waiver DB is always a plus.
Bench Player of the Week
Jason Pierre-Paul (Fear Boners) – Monday night would have been meaningless had the Boners started JPP against the Browns.
Bonehead Coaching Move of the Week
Scott Case (What Does John Fox Say) – This isn’t so much an indictment of any specific decisions so much as looking at that starting line-up and just being all ‘WTF?’.
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