We’ve capped off another exciting week in the EBFL, with several match-ups going right down to the wire on Monday night. The Bandits, Bananas, and Idiots all pulled off tight victories to give the Rexes some serious breathing room in the Taco Corp Division (and the league as a whole). A pair of teams are yet to pick up any points on the season, and may be digging themselves an insurmountable hole before we even reach the Bye weeks. Speaking of terrible, there was a Terrence Williams sighting this week!
Injuries are really starting to pile up now, as no fewer than 7 starting RB went down this week. Between that and byes starting in Week 4, we will soon see a lack of depth creep up and knock some teams down a peg.
Matchups
2-0 San Juan Bananas (148.60) – 1-1 Endzone Dancers (138.51)
Let’s get this stinker out of the way first. The Bananas catch a massive break, putting up the 11th most points in the league, and still coming away with the victory. It wasn’t pretty, with 2 defensive doughnuts, one coming with an incomplete line-up penalty. The linebackers were the only group that scored well, which ended up being the difference. The Bananas are going to need to get their shit together if they want to remain in the hunt for a championship. It was a rough day all around for the Dancers, with only 4 players scoring double digits, and 2 of those were DB. To add injury to insult, they lost Foster, and will likely be without him for at least a week or two.
2-0 Tom Selleck’s Moustache (211.68) – 0-2 Deadly Nagintas (182.19)
The Stache look good again this week, slicing up the Nagintas for an almost 30 point win and a spot atop the division. The entire offense outside of Luck was solid, each going double digits, and they put up a great score overall despite taking a zero of their own. This is the team Smitty thought he had the past couple years. With Foster out, maybe Ajayi will start paying off, after being acquired for the eventual 1.01. The Nagintas take another loss and are also down a pair of RB, as Stewart and Woodhead both went out early in their games, Woodhead being done for the year. The Nagintas could be out of it before they get Gordon back in Week 5.
2-0 Loose Bandits (188.72) – 0-2 Knuckle Ballers (182.08)
The Bandits edged the Ballers in a game that was probably much tighter than expected. It was a very up and down day for the Bandits, with some great performances and some real duds. Losing top 5 DL Zeke Ansah is a big hit to their squad, but this offense is too good for that to matter much at this point in the season. All I can picture is Rob pulling a Denny Green last night when his squad came up just short of knocking off the 2016 favourite. Golden Tate’s dud was the likely difference. You have to turn 13 targets into more than 2 catches…especially when most of your targets are within 5 yards of the line of scrimmage.
2-0 Rex in the City (237.19) – 1-1 Fear Boners (194.40)
The Rexes were the top team of the week, and now the top team so far this season after lopping off the Boners, in another match-up feature a pair of top scoring squads. The Rexes runners and receivers were lights out this week, all scoring 15.8 points or better. He now has a 6 point cushion on 2nd place in the division, and a couple more scores like this and he could cruise to his 2nd division title in 3 seasons. The Boners were good, but not good enough this week, but take home a 2 VP consolation prize. Larry Fitzgerald continues to be a gem for the Boners, as the Cards feed him the bulk of their targets.
1-1 Chalupa Batman (200.93) – 0-2 Long Snappers (173.77)
The Chalupas pick up their first win of the young season, as they put away the Snappers. The Chalupas got huge games from Corey Coleman and Preston Brown in the win, which has to be bittersweet for Mark, getting beat due to his Buffalo players. The Snappers took the RB Zero strategy to the extreme and have paid for it early in the season. Getting absolutely nothing from the defensive backs, and most of their WR doesn’t help. They don’t have the talent to overcome bad performances like the Bandits do. They appear headed for their 2nd Frittata Bowl.
1-1 Greg Schiano is an Idiot (179.92) – 0-2 What Does John Fox Say (177.74)
The Idiots get into the win column themselves, narrowly defeating WDJFS. It wasn’t pretty and came down to the Chicago WR on Monday night, so the Idiots had to be a little nervous once Cutler left the game. Kelvin Benjamin and Antoine Bethea led the way, making up for a dreadful performance from Jameis Winston. It was feast or famine for WDJFS with several solid games, sprinkled with several complete duds. It looks like Scotty gets to take all of the Terrence Williams heat this season. Congrats on Bonehead Move of the Week!
Week 2 Awards
Offensive Player of the Week
Matt Forte (Rex in the City) – A little turn back the clock on Thursday night as Forte dominated the Bills for triple digits on the ground, and 3 touchdowns.
Defensive Player of the Week
Kemal Ishmael (Tom Selleck’s Moustache) – Ishmael was the highest scoring defender on the week, with an astounding 15 tackles (13 solo) and a pass defensed.
Rookie of the Week
Corey Coleman (Chalupa Batman) – Coleman was a monster in Week 2, with his first career 100-yard game, and a pair of trips to the house. He was the #4 WR overall on the week.
Goat of the Week
Golden Tate (Knuckle Ballers) – The opportunity was there for Tate to lead the Ballers to victory, but only hauling in 2 passes for 13 yards when you have 13 balls thrown at you will make you the goat (not to be confused with the GOAT).
Pickup of the Week
Eddie Royal (Knuckle Ballers) – Royal was all over the stat sheet with 4 grabs for 52 yards, 65 punt return yards, a touchdown and a tackle.
Bench Player of the Week
Martellus Bennett (What Does John Fox Say) – His 19.90 points would have put Scotty on the board this week. He made 5 grabs for 114 yards and a score and was TE2 on the week.
Bonehead Coaching Move of the Week
Scott Case (What Does John Fox Say) – Two words sum this one up: Terrence. Williams.
Playoff Odds
- Loose Bandits (98.8%) —
- San Juan Bananas (83.3%) —
- Rex in the City (68.4%) —
- Greg Schiano is an Idiot (65.5%) —
- Deadly Nagintas (56.7%) +1
- Chalupa Batman (55.0%) -1
- Long Snappers (46.4%) —
- Endzone Dancers (34.0%) —
- Knuckle Ballers (29.7%) +2
- What Does John Fox Say (22.2%) -1
- Tom Selleck’s Moustache (21.3%) -1
- Fear Boners (7.8%) —
These projections don’t make a ton of sense if you ask me, but they are what they are. The Ballers climb 2 spots, as WDJFS and the Stache both drop over 10%. Not much change at the top, as it still projects the same teams making the playoffs, with the Bananas taking a significant percentage jump, probably due to the Snappers 0 VP. The Chalupas and Nagintas swap positions, but are very close in the projections. There’s a decent fall off between them and the Snappers, then again between the Snappers and the rest of the field. The Stache get no respect. The computers probably know Smitty’s luck so far in the EBFL.
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