We’re down to the final week in the 2015 EBFL regular season, and unlike 2014, there is still plenty to be decided in the play-off picture. The Snappers punched their ticket to the big dance this week despite the loss to the Idiots. The Taco Corp remains a dead heat, with the winner of the Week 13 game between the Ballers and the Dancers securing the #3 seed. They would then face off against one of the Chalupas, Bandits or Bananas in Week 14.
On the flip side, the Boners Week 12 win gives them a shot at getting out of Frittata Bowl contention. Right now WDJFS is definitely in, and the team that misses out on the #6 seed is safe. The Rexes, the Boners and the Stache could all potentially play their way out of it, but they’re going to have to win and score big. There is also still a possibility of 3 Taco Corp teams all participating to see who isn’t the worst, if the loser of Dancers/Ballers doesn’t pick up any VP and Boners wins and picks up max VP…or a couple other possibilities that leaves Boners tied with Ballers/Rexes. All in all, it’s going to be a fun Week 13 as every match up has the potential to determine either a play-off spot or a Frittata Bowl participant.
Projected Seeds (if play-offs started today)
- Greg Schiano is an Idiot**
- Deadly Nagintas*
- Endzone Dancers
- Long Snappers*
- Chalupa Batman*
- Loose Bandits
* clinched playoff spot
** clinched #1 seed
Week 12 Matchups
11-1 Greg Schiano is an Idiot (242.68) – 8-4 Long Snappers (229.49)
The Snappers have their biggest week of the season, but it’s not enough to take down the Idiot buzz saw. The Chris Johnson injury, and a poor showing from the DL were the difference this week, but the Snappers appear to be peaking at the right time. The Idiots continue to roll and are pretty much just trolling their opponents now, starting Jameis Winston to drum up ROTY votes over their more established and successful passers. The Idiots bench likely would have outscored a couple teams this week. Both of these teams are set for the play offs and look to end the Bananas season and put the Stache in their first Frittata Bowl in Week 13.
6-6 San Juan Bananas (234.35) – 3-9 Tom Selleck’s Moustache (159.88)
The Bananas have followed a 3 game losing streak with a 3 game winning streak to resuscitate their play off lives. They put up a huge week to bury the Stache and end a Movember Smitty would probably like to forget. The Bananas have a huge Week 13 game ahead against the Snappers, which is pretty much a must win, as the Bandits would only need a top 8 score to clinch otherwise, no matter how many points the Bananas can muster. The Stache are almost guaranteed a Frittata Bowl spot, needing to beat the Idiots, getting max VP, while having the Ballers lose, and get 0 VP, plus they need pass both the Rexes and Boners. So, let’s just say they’re in. Smitty is starting to look like the Chip Kelly of the EBFL.
7-5 Loose Bandits (172.60) – 7-5 Chalupa Batman (165.83)
The Bandits managed to pull of a mild upset to keep their play off hopes alive. It wasn’t a great game by either team, and as a result they have some work to do in Week 13 to realize their goals of a play off spot and division title respectively. The Bandits square off against the Nagintas, in an attempt to run their division record to 6-0 and secure their first play off run in the short existence of the EBFL. The Chalupas are trying not to repeat their 2014 finish losing out to the Nagintas for the division title in the final week. The Chalupas do hold the division tie-breaker, so a win and max VP could get it done.
5-7 Fear Boners (191.17) – 7-5 Deadly Nagintas (179.58)
The Boners, thanks to a big Monday night game from Kamar Aiken, have put together a modest 2 game winning streak to give themselves a shot at getting out of the Frittata Bowl. They have now had 2 above league average scores in a row, and they’ll need another this week to do so. The Nagintas may look back on this week as a serious opportunity lost, especially if they end up having to play Week 14 instead of earning their 2nd division banner. They look to end the Bandits division winning streak and send them packing in Week 13.
5-7 Rex in the City (220.63) – 6-6 Endzone Dancers (180.80)
The Rexes have made things interesting in the Taco Corp the past few weeks with wins over the Ballers and now the Dancers. Unfortunately, they still have no shot at a division crown and a playoff spot, due to their awful start to the season. They’re currently holding down the final Frittata Bowl spot, but can work their way out with a big win against WDJFS, and at least 1 more scoring VP than the Ballers (plus they have to stay ahead of Boners on VP and total points). The Dancers are in the play-offs…if you count their Week 13 game against the Ballers for the division crown as a play-off game. Their only concern is a win…nothing else matters in this one.
4-8 Knuckle Ballers (167.02) – 3-9 What Does John Fox Say (146.32)
The Ballers live to fight another day (or I guess week in this case) with the low scoring win over WDJFS. They head into Week 13 with the chance to get into the play-offs with a 5-8 record, which very well may go down in EBFL history. Standing in their way is the Dancers, who have a better record, thanks mainly to a the nuances of the schedule. I wonder if Conrod wishes he hadn’t been the only one to vote down the 14 game sched for this season? It may have made for a serious clusterf&$% figuring out the final week implications. Won’t that be fun next year with 2 extra VP on the line. WDJFS is pretty much just left to play spoiler, and hope his team shows up for 3 weeks so he doesn’t get the plates.
Week 12 Awards
Offensive Player of the Week
Doug Baldwin (San Juan Bananas) – This is why the Bananas are fighting for a play-off spot, and aren’t already in. Baldwin should be a bench player of the week candidate.
Defensive Player of the Week
Tyrann Mathieu (Long Snappers) – The Honey Badger didn’t give a F*$& this week, dropping 11 solos, a pick and a couple passes defended.
Rookie of the Week
Marcus Mariota (Tom Selleck’s Moustache) – A decent day by QB standards, Mariota tossed 3 TD and a 2 pointer with 218 yards, and 7 on the ground.
Goat of the Week
Rishard Matthews (Chalupa Batman) – Yes, it was injury related, but that zero could cost the Chalupas a division title.
Pickup of the Week
Brian Hartline (San Juan Bananas) – Spencer Ware should have been the pick, but he was only picked up as a preventative measure, not to be of any use.
Bench Player of the Week
Markus Wheaton (What Does John Fox Say) – If Scott knew Wheaton had this in him, he wouldn’t have started Hartline. 201 yards and a touchdown on Sunday afternoon.
Bonehead Coaching Move of the Week
Scott McKay (Endzone Dancers) – Starting a TE3 over CJ Anderson. Not sure how many guys would have done that? Could prove to be very costly.
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