Week 5 was one of the craziest weeks in EBFL history, with several upsets, including 4 of the big 5 taking losses, with 3 of those teams dropping to a 2-3 record. Of those 2-3 teams, the Rexes appear to be in the most trouble, already 6 points back in the division, and 5 out of the Wildcard. We no longer have any undefeated or winless teams for 2015 as the Boners and WDJFS both picked up their first wins, while the Idiots fell back to the pack with their first loss.
Just a reminder to all managers: For your rookies to be eligible for the Rookie of the Year award, they must be active on your roster bye their game in Week 6. If they’re on Bye, you can’t drop someone who was in your starting line up after their game has started to add your rookie.
Matchups
2-3 Knuckle Ballers (204.28) – 1-4 Tom Selleck’s Moustache (174.91)
The Ballers came to play this week, with Tom Brady continuing his Fuck You Goodell Tour, this time fisting Dallas. Solid numbers all around, with the secondary and recently acquired TE Gary Barnidge being the bright spots. The Stache continue their annual early season slide, with a handful of solid performances to go along with a lot of mediocre and a little terrible. Devonta Freeman continues to impress, and Hardy was abusive in his first game back from suspension. I bet Smitty can’t wait for Movember to get this thing turned around again.
4-1 Endzone Dancers (199.54) – 4-1 Greg Schiano is an Idiot (148.05)
In your weekly WTF game, the Dancers put up almost 2 bills while taking 2 zeroes and a negative number to knock off the previously dominant Idiots. The pass catchers and the D were the difference in this one. The Dancers continue to surprise in 2015 and are in the driver’s seat in the Taco Corp division. The Idiots laid an egg in this one and lost DeAndre Levy (likely for the season) to add insult to injury…or in this case, vice versa. The good news is, despite the steaming pile of crap this week, they still sit atop the standings and get AP and Marshall back next week.
4-1 Loose Bandits (178.52) – 3-2 Long Snappers (148.59)
The Bandits continue to roll, this time knocking off the upstart Snappers in what was a close game until late Sunday (technically it was close until Bell laced em up on Monday, but we all knew it was over by then). The Red Rifle was the difference in this game, putting up almost 30 points against what is normally a stingy Seattle D. The Snappers’ usually solid D was a complete let down in this one, and they could look back during week 13 and wish they had this one, if they’re on the outside looking in (which they probably will be…the Bananas and Chalupas are too strong to stay behind them for long).
4-1 Deadly Nagintas (187.26) – 2-3 San Juan Bananas (186.72)
In the tightest matchup of the year so far, 2 EBFL heavyweights went at it, with the Nagintas edging the Bananas by just over half a point. Sword beats fruit every time. The Nagintas got big games from Forsett and Hopkins, as well as solid days from the defense, to make up for a continued lack of quality QB play and squeak it out. The Bananas are currently sitting outside of the playoff positions, but only by a point, and there’s too much talent on the team to count them out. Losing stud RB, Jamaal Charles will really hurt through the Bye weeks though, but they should be able to manage. They need more on the defensive side of the ball, with only Bowman and Jefferson scoring double digits this week.
1-4 What Does John Fox Say (195.73) – 2-3 Chalupa Batman (183.11)
As mentioned in the open, WDJFS gets off the schneid by knocking off the Chalupas for their first win. Doug Martin and Allen Hurns were stand out performers for WDJFS, and all of the sudden they’re not out of it (ok, we lied, they’re out of it). As I’ve mentioned numerous times before, the RB position looks bright for the foreseeable future for WDJFS…and I say that as a guy that owned Martin and Richardson heading into their sophomore seasons, so I know what I’m talking about (ok, maybe not). The Chalupas put up a solid number, but picked up their 3rd loss in 4 weeks. The pass catchers for the Chalupas were a serious let down, and it sounds like they’re ready to blow it all up, despite only being 1 point out with 8 weeks to go.
1-4 Fear Boners (161.21) – 2-3 Rex in the City (159.02)
The Boners also picked up their first win of the season, knocking off the Rexes in a tight match up. The Boners pick up the win despite having 2 players put up donuts, and 5 others with under 5 points. Needless to say a couple big games saved them, with Wilhoite and Eifert being the keys to victory. Fitz had another good game, and continues to boost his trade value. How did the Boners win with all of those crappy performances? Well, the Rexes had quite a few of their own, including a costly incomplete roster penalty for starting Posluszny. The Rexes are in a rough spot, having several great players, but zero depth. They’ve also lost Bobby Wagner now.
Week 5 Awards
Offensive Player of the Week
Doug Martin (What Does John Fox Say) – The Muscle Hamster showed what he is capable of this week putting up over 150 yards and 3 TD rushing and receiving to lead WDJFS to their first victory.
Defensive Player of the Week
Fletcher Cox (Endzone Dancers) – Cox filled the stat sheet, with 3 sacks, 2 forced fumbles and a recovery to go with 6 solo tackles.
Rookie of the Week
Todd Gurley (What Does John Fox Say) – Gurley picked up all of his points on the ground, going for over 150 yards on 30 carries.
Goat of the Week
Eddie Lacy (San Juan Bananas) – It’s probably not a good thing when your star RB gets almost a third of his points on a fumble recovery tackle.
Pickup of the Week
Gary Barnidge (Knuckle Ballers) – The Ballers get the award in back to back weeks, this time with the Cleveland TE, who has been on a tear the past 3 weeks.
Bench Player of the Week
Josh McCown (Knuckle Ballers) – McCown put up monster numbers against the Ravens, throwing for 457 yards and 2 TD while adding 12 and a TD on the ground in the comeback win.
Bonehead Coaching Move of the Week
Mike Bryce (Rex in the City) – I’m not sure what was worse, leaving in the inactive player, or complaining about it after it benefited him last season. Using the only available player he had, would have gotten him the win.
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