Week 9 kicked off the second round of division match ups for the 2014 season, with a repeat of the Week 1 schedule. All games went the same way they did in the first week, except for the Idiots/Stache match up which didn’t really mean much to the standings. Speaking of standings, things are now extremely tight in the playoff races, with the Ballers out in front by 4 points over 4 teams in the overall. The Ballers should clinch their playoff spot this week, needing only 1VP to get in. There are definitely 2 tiers of squads in the EBFL this season, as there are no middling teams; everyone has either 6 wins or more, or 3 wins and less. It will take a small miracle for anyone other than the current top 6 to get in, and that would likely be for the Yobogoya division title, where the Bananas have an 8 point lead on the Snappers.
Matchups
2-7 Tom Selleck’s Moustache (182.00) – 1-8 Greg Schiano is an Idiot (167.52)
The Stache get into the win column for the 2nd time this season, keeping their extremely faint playoff hopes alive. They put up their highest score of the season to knock off the Idiots, who are currently cruising towards a Sacko Bowl berth. Philip Rivers knocked himself out of the top 10 scorers with his negative performance in Miami, earning him the Goat of the Week title.
6-3 San Juan Bananas (167.72) – 3-6 Long Snappers (121.18)
In a match up that could have turned the tides in the Yobagoya division, the Bananas stomped the Snappers to extend their lead to 8 points. Big games from Mark Ingram and Julian Edelman paced the Bananas to the easy win. An inter-division match up with the Chalupas, which could have big playoff implications is up next. The Snappers look like their just planning to play out the string, try and avoid the Sacko Bowl and hope to attain the extra pick for winning the consolation round. They’ve jettisoned some dead weight, and picked up another 2015 1st round pick, hoping to retool quickly in a loaded draft.
7-2 Deadly Nagintas (170.28) – 1-8 Loose Bandits (114.06)
Despite 2 players combining for a half of a point, the Nagintas picked up the win and the extra VP this week, knocking off the Sacko bound Bandits, by over 50 points. The Nagintas are clearly scrambling to patch together a starting line up for their Week 10 game, having picked up Steven Jackson from the Snappers. The Bandits got some respectable scores from the offence, but Corderelle Patterson has to be considered a huge disappointment at this point, putting up another score under 5 points. This is not what you want from your early round picks.
8-1 Chalupa Batman (190.20) – 3-6 Fear Boners (100.96)
The Chalupas put up the high score on the week, to extend their stay atop the Senor Crabs division, with a thorough drubbing of the Boners. It is the largest margin of victory in the league thus far, and the Boners are now the record holders for lowest score as well. The future looks bright for some of the Boners young receivers though, as Bryant and Landry both put up solid games again. Will someone take a shot on some of the rest of the Boners aging stars to help speed up the rebuild?
8-1 What Does John Fox Say? (167.96) – 6-3 Rex in the City (155.96)
WDJFS picks up their 8th win of the season, and their second against the Rexes to jam up the standings. Go figure, in this battle of Jets fans, it was the Jet WR tandem that carried WDJFS to victory. At this point the Rexes have to hope they don’t run into WDJFS in the playoffs. The good news for the Rexes, Forte and the GB guys are through their Bye, the bad news, DeMarco Murray and Jason Witten still have theirs coming. I did notice after I commented on the lack of 3TE sets, they rolled with one this week.
7-2 Knuckle Ballers (187.48) – 2-7 Endzone Dancers (122.00)
The Ballers continue to roll, again putting up the 2nd highest score in the league, to trounce the reeling Dancers. They now have a full game (plus top VP) lead in their division, with match ups looming against both of the teams chasing them. Weeks 12 and 13 are going to be fun to watch, assuming the Rexes and WDJFS can hang tight with them until then. The Dancers get a winnable game this coming week, facing off with the Bandits, who they’ll likely be competing against in the Sacko Bowl.
Week 9 Awards
Offensive Player of the Week
Ben Roethlisberger (What Does John Fox Say?) – Back to back OPOTW awards for Big Ben, thanks to another 6 TD performance. The only thing that can slow him down appears to be a Week 12 Bye.
Defensive Player of the Week
Jaquian Williams (Greg Schiano is an Idiot) – The Giants LB had a big night against the Colts with 14 solos, 4 assists and a pass defended.
Rookie of the Week
Jeremy Hill (Greg Schiano is an Idiot) – With Gio Bernard out with a hip injury, Hill took advantage of the start, piling up over 160 yards and 2 scores.
Goat of the Week
Philip Rivers (Greg Schiano is an Idiot) – Rivers put up negative points in a 14.48 point loss. Alex Smith would have gotten them the win over the Stache.
Pickup of the Week
Chase Ford (Long Snappers) – Ford hauled in 5 of 7 targets for 66 yards and a score after being scooped up by the Snappers this week.
Bench Player of the Week
Ryan Tannehill (Loose Bandits) – Tannehill had a solid day going for close to 300 yards in the air, another 47 on the ground, 3 scores and no turnovers. He’s a top 10 QB, and only has one start for the Bandits.
Bonehead Coaching Move of the Week
Ryan Smith (Tom Selleck’s Moustache) – Left an inactive Janoris Jenkins in the starting line up. Just a reminder that starting in Week 10, this results in an incomplete line up and is subject to a $5 fine.
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