Several stellar performances highlight Week 5 in the EBFL, and a number of records fell across the league. Demaryius Thomas is now the owner of the high weekly score with a monster game for the Knuckle Ballers. We lost another undefeated team in Week 5, and we’re now down to 2, who just happen to meet in a huge Week 6 tilt. On the other end of the spectrum, we’re down to only one winless team as the Fear Boners managed their first W in a battle of 0-4 squads. Smitty’s run of bad luck continues, losing to the Boners on easily their highest scoring week of the season. Then again, at some point the narrative has to change from ‘bad luck’ to ‘just not good enough’.
I also just wanted to throw out a quick reminder that in order to be eligible for the Rookie of the Year award, any rookies have to be on an active roster as of their game this coming week. If their team is on Bye, they have to be on your active roster as of Sunday at 1pm eastern.
Matchups
2-3 Long Snappers (146.42) – 1-4 Loose Bandits (142.04)
The Snappers barely pull one out against the Bandits to keep their playoff hopes alive, and to move within striking distance of the Yobagoya Division lead. It took until late in the Monday nighter to squeak this one out, and now the team has lost Montee Ball for several weeks. They still seem to think they can make the dance, and being in the worst division in the EBFL may help them get there. The Bandits could have pulled this one out if they got anything out of the Minny WR, the TE position or Jurrell Casey. They own the Snappers first in the 2015 draft so knocking them off would have helped improve that picks position.
4-1 Knuckle Ballers (213.36) – 3-2 San Juan Bananas (136.72)
A bit of a statement game for the Ballers, coming off easily their worst game of the season. Manning and Demaryius paired up to put a serious beatdown on the Bananas, with Thomas putting up the highest score yet in the EBFL. The Ballers finally get their first High Score of the Week award after coming close each of the first 3 weeks. The Bananas were seriously exposed in this one with middling to lousy performances from pretty much everyone but Levy and recent acquisition, Brian Quick. It’s probably a good thing Bobber is in Jamaica for the week so we all get a reprieve from the crappy CJ Spiller offers.
5-0 What Does John Fox Say? (155.12) – 4-1 Chalupa Batman (147.18)
Fun fact of the week: WDJFS has knocked off an undefeated team each week of the season so far…so of course he faces the other 5-0 team in week 6, getting a chance to extend the streak. They finally got a big week out of Eddie Lacy, and a number of solid performances at WR as well. Not a great week for the Chalupas, taking their first loss of the season and losing Jimmy Graham in the process. Hopefully for their sake he’s not out long as a big Week 7 matchup against the division rival Nagintas looms.
3-2 Rex in the City (198.14) – 1-4 Greg Schiano is an Idiot (127.62)
Another big week for the Rexes, this time thumping the Idiots, and putting the rest of the Taco Corp Division on notice that they’re hear to win. Several great performances on offence and a couple big games on defense paced the squad to an easy W. Will they keep it rolling against the Bananas in Week 6? The Idiots are falling apart, and other than Rivers, Gronk and Griffin, it was an entirely forgettable week. It’s probably not a good sign when your squad has 2 of the 6 lowest scoring weeks in the league. Now without Megatron for at least a week, the outlook is bleak. It could be time for a shake up.
1-4 Fear Boners (156.48) – 0-5 Tom Selleck’s Moustache (145.98)
The Boners earn their first points of the season, blasting all over the Stache in a close one that came down to 3 defensive players on Monday night. Unfortunately for Smitty, the defense didn’t get it done yet again, and the Stache remain winless on the season. Their big guns just aren’t getting it done, and it’s costing the team valuable ground in the standings. Fortunately for them, Week 6 is a winnable matchup, so they may finally get off the schneid.
5-0 Deadly Nagintas (181.88) – 1-4 Endzone Dancers (122.00)
The Nagintas put up another solid week to run their season opening winning streak to 5 games, thanks to several solid performances on both sides of the ball. A couple tough match ups are ahead though, so the Nagintas reign atop the EBFL standings may be short lived. The Dancers continue to play the wrong players, and would have won with both teams playing optimal line ups. Leaving 5 players sitting that put up 14 or more points isn’t good when your starters don’t perform; at least a couple of these guys should have been in the line up. The Dancers are soon likely to be looking ahead to 2015.
Week 5 Awards
Offensive Player of the Week
Demaryius Thomas (Knuckle Ballers) – Thomas was lights out this week going for over 200 yards and a pair of scores. Peyton Manning has made an OPOTW in 50% of his games so far.
Defensive Player of the Week
Michael Griffin (Greg Schiano is an Idiot) – Griffin did a little bit of everything this week, putting up solid tackle numbers to go along with a pick, a sack and a pass defended.
Rookie of the Week
Sammy Watkins (Long Snappers) – We had to dig deep to get to Sammy. Every rookie with a better performance wasn’t started this week. Watkins is the first repeat winner of any of the awards.
Goat of the Week
LeSean McCoy (Tom Selleck’s Moustache) – While 8.6 points isn’t the worst on the team, you expect more out of a top 5 pick, and McCoy repeatedly has come up short for the Stache.
Pickup of the Week
Louis Murphy (Deadly Nagintas) – Murphy put up a TD and a double digit score filling in for Mike Evans on both the Bucs and Nagintas rosters. Austin Davis looked good on the Chalupas bench as well.
Bench Player of the Week
Branden Oliver (Long Snappers) – The recent pick up put up the 2nd highest score in the league this week while sitting on the Snappers bench. It would have been the new weekly record for RB had he started.
Bonehead Coaching Move of the Week
Scott McKay (Endzone Dancers) – You get a bench outscore, you get the award. Scootie Mac apparently appreciates Antonio Gates about as much as Ruxin does. Has to be the only reason he repeatedly benches him.
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